(no subject)

Haven't used this in ages...so weird coming back and reading old posts.

Nick and I are still together. Going to Minnesota together soon

Will post more after Chrimbo Hols.

(no subject)

I hate living in this apartment.

I miss Nick. So much it hurts sometimes. Do I miss him, or do I miss being loved by someone. I'll never be able to fully know I guess.

I wish things could be different with Sean. Shouldn't have pushed it. Oh well. Things happen for a reason. Nobody ever knows.

Reading "Fences" by August Wilson made me understand my relationship with my mom better. I feel like Cory Maxson, living in the shadow of his father and wanting more. Feeling pushed and unloved. Not understanding what is going on, the bigger plan.

I want to understand. I want this feeling to go away.

(no subject)

I can't believe it's been so long since I posted here...too much ONTD. Nick and I are back together...it's the last week of school before finals. Too much has happened this year to even comprehend. God, what a year.

(no subject)

Nick dumped me.  Awesome.  I can't believe after everything this happened.  Friday went so well, and then we came back and he was just cold. He told me the next morning he regretted it, but yet we're still apart.  I know this is for the best and we're never getting back together but it sucks so much.  I think I'm just better alone.  I can't believe he wants to keep hanging out with his loser friends and just ditch me.  I'm just in total shock.


So, I've decided to start using this again.  I need somewhere to put my feelings.  I'm going to keep it open so people can read it if they want and understand me. 

I feel that I need somewhere to put my thoughts more than ever.  Nick's best friend Dimitri was killed on Saturday morning and I don't know what to do anymore.  I want to be there for him but I don't know how.  I have to sit here and be there for him, and I just don't have the comforting gene in me.  It's taking so much out of me.  

I need help.
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